I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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