wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
