only if we run a train.
done.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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