i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
