R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
