he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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