Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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