He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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