it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize