I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
