Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
