dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
