I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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