Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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