The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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