Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize