To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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