Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Randomize
