Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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