I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
