Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
