Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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