Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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