if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize