We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
