My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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