Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
