We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize