wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You have to summon your inner elephant
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
