i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
