I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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