Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
