i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
