Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
