I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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