Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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