we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
