she was so not down for the gang bang
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
