FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
