hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
