Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
