Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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