I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
