another moral hangover. fuck.
This girl is more easily done than said...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
