she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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