My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
