too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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