Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
