So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
