i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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