I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
