the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
