like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
