I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
