he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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