My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
