ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
